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Bon Appetit!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005
"Bon Appetit!"

Copyright 2005 William Warren.

Thomas Davis: Will Put The Fear of God in People

Friday, April 22, 2005
Just a blurb about our man Thomas Davis from ESPN.com:

SS/OLB Thomas Davis, Georgia, 6-foot-1, 230 pounds, 4.52 in the 40: Incredible, freaky size, and moves well for such a big man. Explosive tackler, who hits with a naturally rising action, and drives through in textbook fashion. Can really de-cleat a ball carrier or receiver and is always looking for knockout hit. Will put fear of God in people.

We've Certainly Missed

Wednesday, April 20, 2005
"We've Certainly Missed"

Copyright 2005 William Warren.

Verizon CEO Thinks You Are Stupid For Wanting Coverage In Your Home

Monday, April 18, 2005


First off, I don't use Verizon. I believe they are terrible, and I believe I am right. They have the worst customer service I have ever encountered. On numerous occasions I have had to deal with them for friends and family, and the crap they put you through is almost comical. Simply put, Verizon preys on the uninformed consumer. In a recent news conference, Verizon CEO Ivan Seidenberg pretty much spilled the beans on his evil empire. After ranting about how he believes free public WiFi was “one of the dumbest ideas” he'd ever heard, he actually went on to state that customers requests for better service in their homes was unreasonable. Unreasonable, Ivan? Did you stop to think about all of your customers who actually leave their homes and go to, wait for it, other Verizon customers homes??? Is it unreasonable for me to want reception at a friends home when I am away from my landline, Ivan? Oh wait, it isn't. I have Cingular.

Wrong Worship

Wednesday, April 13, 2005
"Wrong Worship"

Copyright 2005 William Warren.

Jesus Doll Aimed at Christians With Cash

Tuesday, April 12, 2005


Okay, more good news. This time from Jesus himself! Thanks to the Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Co., anyone who wants to can buy a Jesus doll which spouts verses at the touch of a button. I wonder, who can the target market be for this? It couldn't be Christians, could it? Let us hear from the horses mouse: "The company has hired a marketing firm with expertise reaching out to churches and church schools to generate sales." Great. Thanks to the success of The Passion of the Christ, Christians can look forward to being gently coaxed out of their money from con-artists for years to come. As a business move it is a good one, as this would appear to be an vast untapped market. They could just ship them off to Family Christian Stores and they would be faithfully (pun intended) bought up by the same sheep (keep the puns coming) who flock (just nailed the trifecta) to every Michael W. Sith (wait, I forget the 'm', or did I?) album the stores pimp to them anually. Check out the full story.

Rolling Stone: Stupid Stories For Stupid People

Monday, April 11, 2005


First read the Rolling Stone article. I just really disagree with what this magazine has to say about politics. Thanks for pissing me off Bob Moser and representing Christian politicians as "dominionists" and modern day crusaders. They just really enjoy pigeon-holing anyone that voted for Bush as either part of the insane religious right or as someone who was tricked by these religious zealots into voting for their puppet, err, presidential candidate. Geez. While I do agree with their point about it being a bad thing that preachers be allowed to endorse political parties, I just feel that they have no honorable intentions in running a story like this other than pushing their own liberal agendas. This is fine, so long as the people reading these articles undrstand that what they are reading about conspiracy theorists is being written by conspiracy theorists, just on the opposite side. When will people just realize that they need to think for themselves instead of looking to garbage like this as representative of what they believe, when in fact it hardly bares any semblace at all to their feelings on the matter? Just because I voted for a conservative doesn't mean I want to see every elementary school child in America pledge allegiance to the Christian flag. That would be really scary and would only confirm the irrational rantings of "journalists" like Mr. Moser. How dumb do you have to be to believe that everything is black and white, and that those that run this country are equally simplistic? Very dumb, if you were wondering. You'd also have to be dumb to give any credance to political ideas originated by music magazines, and for that matter, musicians too.

Clemson Unveils Tough New Uniforms, Players

Wednesday, April 06, 2005


Way to go, Clemson! In a move that will surely strike fear in hearts of opposing teams , Clemson University today unveiled new football uniforms for the 2005 season. Not only are these uni's unsightly, they are being modeled by what appears to be a player of ambiguous gender. Yup, great move. I've included a sample of how terrifying this kid's demeanor is curtesy of some creative and quick witted Oklahoma fans. Feel free to make your own contribution! If this keeps up we might have a new generation of the Star Wars Kid on our hands. Also, the beaded necklace is a nice touch, isn't it?

Coach Roy Williams: One Lucky Dog

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

For all of you who follow college basketball and have a profound understanding of it's intricate workings, you can breathe easy. Last night the team with the most talent won. UNC was blowing out Illinois just like they were supposed to. The Fighting Illini had no answer to Carolina's zone defense. It was brilliant. With the lead extended to 15 and Illinois fading fast, it looked like Coach Roy Williams was on his way to his first championship and shedding his image as a choke artist. Then he started to choke. In a brilliant display of coaching acumen, Coach Roy switched the defense back to man. I cannot express how poor of a decision this is. Roy: If it ain't broke don't fix it. Illinois was completely befuddled by your 1-3-1 zone and then you switch to man? Are you serious Roy??? So, Illinois proceeds to trim the lead to 7 before Coach Huckelberry Hound decides to switch back to zone. This works Roy, quit freaking with the system. Nope, he goes back to man and Illinois comes back to tie. TIE! They tie it up, people! Not only that, but the Illini have three open 3-point attempts to take the lead with the clock dwindling. Fortunately for Roy, they are all missed. If Illinois wins that game he never ever lives it down. Geez.